What's Happening Here Then?

Last week I just wanted to burst with Joy!

2009-04-27T15:05:00.000-07:00

..with Joy!

So this is just something i shared on my church blog and wanted to share here too as I haven't blogged for a while!

I have to tell you, I have never quite experienced so much joy like, ever in my whole life!!! I felt like I could have burst. This beam of a smile just kept appearing on my face, and what I can only describe as waves of joy, feelings of happiness and excitement, just kept on overwhelming me....and it is just THE most amazing and incredible experience - because I actually couldn't help it! I really couldn't and wow!
I am so thankful to God, because it was just like WOW!

I am learning so much more since I actually decided to do something about my hang out times with God...reading and praying and.... I'm understanding things more, songs are beginning to mean so much more...and it's just so cool!!!
Is that cool? YES!!!! (hehe!)

An incredible week, the end of one chapter (finishing uni) and the beginning of a new one!

..and it is so true - the JOY of the Lord IS our strength!

Amen!

Coffee Church

2009-04-05T15:58:00.000-07:00

Coffee Church has begun - a new and exciting venture! Costa and Starbucks!
Wehey!
We will see what happens!

I love this song!

2009-04-05T15:52:00.000-07:00

I'm trading my sorrow
I'm trading my shame
I'm laying it down
For the joy of the Lord!

I'm trading my sickness
I'm trading my pain
I'm laying it down
For the joy of the Lord

I am pressed but not crushed
Persecuted not a abandoned
Struck down but not destroyed
I am blessed beyond the curse
For his promise will endure
And his Joy is gonna be my strength

Though the sorrow may last for the night
Joy comes in the morning!

Yes Lord, Amen!

Blessings - calm in the storm

2009-03-28T15:53:00.000-07:00

I just want to speak a word of encouragement.

I haven't had the best of weeks this week. I am thankful for things, but there are some low points and challenging points to this week.

Today I have felt quite low and sad....but in the midst of that, there comes blessing - in the form of a nice little surprises...which bless you, that keep you going and reminds you that life is not always bad...good things can come...and sometimes from places you don't expect!

It doesn't mean that the other stuff, the low points go away - but it just helps bring perspective to life, a little ray of hope - a line to hang onto, that if you hold on - all will be ok in the end....and to get through it - one needs to learn to lean on the strength of Christ and not on oneself - because you wouldn't get anywhere otherwise.

And most importantly to remember...a friend of mine said to me yesterday:
Remember you are a much loved child of God, who loves you unconditionally and cares about you and takes delight in you.
:-)

Coffee Church?

2009-02-18T00:33:00.000-08:00

Costa's have opened up their doors to church!
We may be headed in a new and exciting direction as a church.
Costa means coastlands...how funny!
It's a good idea, but is it a God idea?
Praying.

2009-01-30T06:35:00.000-08:00

WAKE UP
RISE UP

"But each day the Lord pours his unfailing love upon me, and through each night I sing songs, praying to God who gives me life" Psalm 42v8

The Lord will guide you continually, giving you water when you are dry and restoring your strength. You will be like a well-watered garden, like an ever-flowing spring" Isaiah 58v11

"I know the plans I have for you" Jeremiah 29v11

Child-like faith

ASK

Believe He Can

Is the gospel my life...is it in me...that it just can't help but come out??? Can't keep it inside!
"But if i say I'll never mention the Lord or speak in his name, his word burns in my heart like a fire. It's like a fire in my bones! I am worn out trying to hold it in! I can't do it!" Jeremiah 20v9

Your Words Are Life

WORSHIP

Love the Lord with ALL your heart.

HOPE

REJOICE
JOY OF THE LORD
ALWAYS

"Wake up Joy is here!"

"I need your help, I put my hope in your Word."

Dreams rooted in Christ

'Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you saying "this is the way walk in it" ' Isaiah 30v21

Hungry for God?

Passion?

TRANSFORMATION

Sing a new song.

Getting back to the basics - prayer and reading the Word!

YOUR LOVE IS BETTER THAN LIFE!

Words: Flower - blooming. More of God's love. Shine like the stars.

SHINE!

She said "Yes"

"Where your treasure is, there will your heart be also" Matt 6v21

Words: Boldness. Understand more of God.

Feeling of frustration with myself and who I am.

God's timing!

Singleness is a GIFT!!!

"But letting the spirit control your mind leads to life and peace" Romans 8v6

What happens to a well-watered garden? Plants grow. Flowers blossom and bloom. Given nourishment, food. Stay healthy. Water softens soil. Fresh. Sometimes you need to cut things away. Tidy it up.
Seasons!

Connecting with your culture.

Hope can set you free!

Army. Battle. Victory.
Preparation
Soldiers for Christ

"Love the Lord with all your heart, mind, soul and strength."

Encouragement

Light in darkness

The songs are in your eyes, I see them when you smile
=)

I am beautiful!

I called - you answered!
Singing in trouble.

Let It Shine!

We are still in process

Salt and light

One Church

Search for God like you have lost your keys. Seek first the Kingdom of God

Trust God

There is more to come!

We are on a journey

Lukewarm?

I am significant

Die to Self

Choosing to the thankful

I am special.

Glimpses

The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe. Aslan on the move.

Change

Running the race.

Eternity

Standing on the highest hill with a sense of wonder. You can see everything was made in God. Head back down the roadside and give thanks for it all.

Awakening

Words: Multiplying. The singer. More people like me, wouldn't that be great - (Significance)

Chewing Gum!

What I once thought was valuable I consider worthless.

Character

Spirit is willing but flesh is weak

Arise Shine Your Light Has Come

When you're in love, you want to sing a song.

Faith not feeling.

Renewal of mind.

Butterfly

Working for God or with God?

Where am I with God. Is He my friend?

Don't lose first love!

Gideon

Where is my focus?

I am a disciple. Discipline my life.

Build each other. Love builds. Strength.

"This is your time, this is your dance, live every moment, leave nothing to chance."

Thank you Lord

2008-11-18T03:16:00.001-08:00

I wanted to blog, with a few words of thanks, to God, as I realise I have so much to be thankful for.

Thank you God for rescuing me

Thank you God that You are a healer, of hearts, minds and relationships

Thank you God that You love me

Thank you God that You are doing something in my life right now, and that You don't give up on me

Thank you God that everyday I CAN start again, afresh and anew

Thank you God that You have blessed the house that I am living in right now

Thank you God that I have wonderful friends in Christ!

Thank you God for my family!

Thank you God for church!

Thank you God for coffee!

Thank you God that when we call - You answer!

Thank you God for testimonies!

Thank you God for Sunrises and Sunsets =D

I just want to thank you for what you have done in my life so far!

Thank you God for always being there when I have needed you, and helping me get through struggles, pain, shame.

Thank you God, that from when I was a child, Your hand was upon my life.

Thank you God that I can find forgiveness in You.

Thank you for the hope that I have in You!

I called You answered

And You came to my rescue and I
I wanna be where You are

In my life be lifted high
In our world be lifted high
In our love be lifted high

Everlasting Light - Glass Harp

2008-10-04T04:53:00.000-07:00

I know that you will be
My everlasting light
Shine for all to see
Like a star at night
You walked into my room
And danced across my floor
You've given me the key
To unlock my heart

Like the stories that you told me
I will be like them
Like the Psalms that you sing me
I'm renewed again and again

I know that you will be
My everlasting light
Shine for all to see
Like a star at night
You walked into my room
And danced across my floor
You've given me the key
To unlock my heart

All the glories that you showed me
I will wait for them
In the middle at the end
On you I depend

Like the stories that you told me
Like the songs you sing
I will go out
I might stumble
But you’re always near to me

I know that you will be
My everlasting light
Shine for all to see
Like a star at night
You walked into my room
And danced across my floor
You've given me the key
To unlock my heart

Written by John Sferra, Glass Harp. From the album Hourglass.

Fighting Through The Tough Times

2008-09-30T03:02:00.000-07:00

This is from an email that my dad forwarded to me.

The following is Day 64 on Rebecca's remarkable 90 Day Journey in her new book “Pure”…with all the world's unsettling news and headlines of the day –maybe this is a message for you!

If you've been a Christian for any length of time, you have undoubtedly experienced seasons of weariness in trying to stay on the straight and narrow path. In our quest for living a pure, focused life that pleases God, we all hit the wall at one time or another. What do we do then? Give up and decide it's no longer any use to keep trying? Not an option. I have had times when the road has gotten long and I've missed home and found myself yearning for normal life and my friends. Those periods can be very challenging. When they happen I go to God and ask for His strength for the journey.

One of the benefits of getting through the difficult moments is that when we come out on the other side, we have grown through the adversity in ways we would not have otherwise. And, when it's beyond our power and strength to make it on our own, we know beyond certainty that it was God, and not ourselves, that got us through. He receives greater glory when we are depleted, and cry out to Him for the strength to walk through the hardship.

Another key for survival has been leaning on the community of faith that God has given me. In recent years I have discovered more about the power of community by being honest and asking friends to walk with me through the lonely and difficult times. Sometimes just asking for prayer or a chat on the phone helps immensely. I now understand the power of being vulnerable and open in showing weakness within safe friendships. That's been empowering. Knowing that God is using my life and ministry also definitely helps encourage me through any hard times.

It's been said, “Tough times don't last; tough people do.” The following verses all are taken from The Message, which is a modern paraphrase of the Bible written by Eugene Peterson. I love what these verses say about hanging tough when we feel like throwing in the towel.

• “God is good, a hiding place in tough times. He recognizes and welcomes anyone looking for help, no matter how desperate the trouble” (Nahum 1:7).

• Paul and Barnabas urged them “to stick with what they had begun to believe and not quit, making it clear to them that it wouldn't be easy: 'Anyone signing up for the kingdom of God has to go through plenty of hard times'” (Acts 14:22).

• “Don't burn out; keep yourselves fueled and aflame. Be alert servants of the Master, cheerfully expectant. Don't quit in hard times; pray all the harder” (Romans 12:11, 12)

• “He comes alongside us when we go through hard times, and before you know it, he brings us alongside someone else who is going through hard times so that we can be there for that person just as God was there for us. We have plenty of hard times that come from following the Messiah, but no more so than the good times of his healing comfort—we get a full measure of that, too” (2 Corinthians 1:3-5).

• “So we're not giving up. How could we! Even though on the outside it often looks like things are falling apart on us, on the inside, where God is making new life, not a day goes by without his unfolding grace. These hard times are small potatoes compared to the coming good times, the lavish celebration prepared for us” (2 Corinthians 4:16, 17).

The next time you are facing a difficult situation (maybe even today), pull out the above verses and meditate on them. God is always faithful to fulfill the promises in His Word. That's a truth you can rely on!

Rebecca St James

Shine With Me - P.O.D

2008-09-25T08:36:00.000-07:00

So here is the next song!
I've literally just heard the song and I really like the lyrics to it!
What this song talks about is something of what I have had on my mind recently - shining brightly like stars, being light in darkness and thinking how my life can shine and impact others, and whether it is?!

Shine With Me - P.O.D
So why don't you come with me
And take a trip to the other side?
Where you and I, we can sing, we can fly
We can dance as the stars go by
And the heavens will open up
With a vision inside 'jah love
The earth, and the moon, and
the sun will align
With a voice from the sky above One love

So come on and shine with me
Like the beautiful star you are.
So come on and shine with me
Shine with me.

Float through the sky,
And look through my eyes
And then you will see what happens.
Nowhere to hide, look deep down inside
In life you must take your chances
Come with me and you will see
My love is like la la la la la...
So come with me and you will see
One love...

So come on and shine with me
Like the beautiful star you are
And leave it behind with me
Cause forever is not that far
So come on and shine with me
Like the beautiful star you are
And leave it behind with me
And shine with me

Shine on, shine on, shine on! one love!

[ chorus ]

Shine with me
Shine with me

haha!

2008-09-21T13:56:00.000-07:00

well well well
Im just reading over my posts from this blog, reminding myself of what I have written about (it is actually quite interesting to read back on one's own thoughts)

Anyway......its soooo funny that I actually posted the lyrics to "World Of Mine" a year ago...well nearly a year ago. 7th October 2007 to be exact...which I find quite cool....and funny!
So here is another dose of the lyrics...to which I just...I really like.
Especially about being a flicker - a flicker of light comes to mind.
=)

World Of Mine - Phil Keaggy

2008-09-21T13:29:00.000-07:00

For the next couple of blog items I plan to post lyrics of songs that mean something to me, or speak to me or that I just want to share with you.

The first is World Of Mine by Phil Keaggy.
I love this artist - I think he is awesome and God has used him so much to just bring us some fabulous music. I don't think I could ever get tired of listening to his work. A very talented musician, I hope he comes over to the UK to perform again...I would so be there!

Everybody wants to know exactly how it feels.
To be in this place - well I don't know
I've been wondering myself
Everytime I go

I wanna tell you 'bout everything I've seen
I wanna tell you 'bout every place I've been
I haven't even known what it means to
Walk in these shoes of mine

Chorus
Standing on the corner watching as the world goes by
Sometimes I connect and sometimes I reflect and cry
I see myself in a wounded heart
All by myself in a crowded bar
To find a flicker in this fallen dark world of mine

For a moment you seem like strangers
Exchange a few words
And suddenly you share the same heartbeat
They look deep into your eyes, they ask
Does God hear me anymore
Why have I been denied

You wanna tell me 'bout every broken dream
You wanna tell me 'bout all the pain you've seen
You say
You haven't even known what it means to walk
In these shoes of mine - but I'm trying

Chorus

To see myself in a wounded heart
And be of help if I can do my part
To be a flicker in this fallen dark world of mine.

Copyright. Written by Phil Keaggy 1993

Music is in my heart and soul....!

2008-09-17T13:57:00.000-07:00

I've just come back from the music and sound recording PostGrad Recitals.....man....was I blown away...
It was awesome. The guys are so talented and the music was just....beautiful.
I loved the pieces performed by the band ......man! I just love music, and it just speaks so deeply to me. Its just such a wonderful thing, and just.....!!!!!
I just had to share that, because I think I could burst otherwise if I kept it in....!!
It's something that I'm so passionate about, that I love and aw I'd love to be able to do something like that...it would just be flippin awesome.
I know God didn't give me the gift and love for music, singing, dancing for nothing...there is a purpose to my life...I just need to work out what it is..and what direction I'm going in. And above all, focus on him rather than on other things....otherwise, I'll get distracted, lose my way, and probably end up not fullfilling the FULL potential that I have. I just have to keep reminding myself of that!

I am me....and that is all there is to me...and I am cool just the way I am!!!!!

Random thinking?!

2008-09-09T14:33:00.001-07:00

hmmmm......

I don't really know what to write about....but I would like to write something on my blog.

Maybe something reflective?

Random thoughts?

At the moment I'm reading Job - its a very interesting book.
I have found that reading through the Old Testament has been really enjoyable and I am looking forward to the books ahead.
They are informative, they are interesting, exciting, at some-points make you laugh...and also challenging.

Dissertation writing. At the moment I'm thinking about it and working on what my focus will be. I know that I want to look at hip hop dance - i just love it as a dance form and from what I have read so far, I am enjoying it, which is definitely a good sign!

I'm back at uni and I just want to say how blessed I am to be where I am living this year.
I have some lovely housemates, a lovely room, a lovely house and feel that God directed us here.
It has been a bit strange going back to lectures, as half of my year are no longer there, and that has been quite strange and a little sad for me. But it is nice to meet new people.

I have quite a few things planned for this year....going to go out with the girlies a little more this year...well certainly this semester, because I'm only here at Uni til next year. I have to make the most of it! Also I am quite keen to see some more dance and also....I want to do well this year. To be honest, the last couple of years, I havent worked as hard as maybe I could have done, and had wayyy to many nights where I did the work all night long for the following/same day.

Future. I don't honestly know what is going to happen. I have felt that in this year alone, I have made steps forward, and steps backward. To some respect I am still in the same position as I was in 6th form, I really didn't know what I wanted to do, and i'm finding that now...I still don't! However I know that I have an idea of what I don't want to do - and also there are things that I'm interested in, but I just don't know how to use them for my future.
So some extent, I'm quite worried about what the future will hold, I just don't know what I'm going to do.

Olympics 2008 looking to 2012

2008-08-23T11:42:00.000-07:00

So we are coming to the end of the Olympics and what a time it has been. GB have scored a total of 47 medals, 19 of them being Gold which we should be very proud of!
The Swimming, Cycling, Rowing, and Sailing being our best and it was great to be a part of it by watching them! Ok, so I did spend most of these two weeks infront of the TV, but hey, I don't watch much TV anyway! hehe.
I was glad to see justice served today. If it wasn't for an appeal by Team GB and the video and press evidence, Sarah would not have gone through to the semi-final, which, on the basis of watching the match, she deserved to win. Although the decsision was turned around, and she did get to the Semi-final and did not win, at least the appeal was heard and the right winner, won. I think that events such as Tai Kwon Do should have video evidence put into the game, because it would just make things a lot easier.
They have it installed in Tennis, and if on seeing a race in the athletics back, someone has say, run off their lane, then they can be disqualified. Therefore, because of the technology we have at present, we should take advantage of it to be used. So the events of today concerning Sarah, will probably initiate thinking into how tai kwon do will move on from this. Right thats a little rant out that way hehe!

Just one thing that I think the GB team do need to work on is the track and field. We didnt really do at all well in these competitions and we just need to get better!

But yes, I do love the Olympics. I have done ever since I was little. It is such a great idea to have so many countries competing and I look forward to the Games coming here! I just hope we do it proud...
I'm definitely going to book those two weeks off and go and watch some of the events...in particular I think the Swimming and the Cycling in the Velodrome. I'd also like to see some of the Gymnastics, Diving and Synchronized Swimming, as well as track and field. These have to be my favourite events. I just can't wait til 2012, Its so exciting!!!

Hey maybe if I get some training in, I could compete haha! What a golden opportunity though for athletes to compete and it just is extra special when it comes to your home country.

Looking towards tomorrow, it is the closing ceremony. I missed the Opening Ceremony, and if that was a show-stopper, then I am definitely looking forward to tomorrows. I especially look forward to the change over from China to Great Britain, and with two fantastic dance companies performing - I am soooo excited! CandoCo and ZooNation will do us proud. They are awesome companies, which I have had the pleasure of watching and it is just so brilliant that they get to be involved in the games and perform! Awesome!!!!

VFest!

2008-08-17T14:51:00.000-07:00

Woop woop! Thank you Virgin for letting me win tickets to VFestival. It was awesome!
Although I was there for only 1 day, it was such a great experience. I went with my sis and we just went and saw lots of bands, ate lots of food and spent some quality time together.
The best of the day was MUSE. They are awesome live. I loved them when I saw them at Wembley and man, wern't they awesome last night!
All in all we went to see Michael Franti & Spearhead , Air Traffic, Duffy, Estelle, David Jordan, The Pigeon Detectives, The Kooks, The script, the end of Stereophonics and Muse =D.
So yea, and camping was fun! I was able to put up a tent like by myself - well with the help of my sis, but that was awesome, because I didnt need JonP for tent construction! We managed it ourselves...woop-dee-doo!
It was a good time, though maybe if I go to another festival I might just get a day pass rather than camp - but it was fun all the same!
Now I am in the lovely area of Devon for a nice week long holiday - beautiful!

Dance Summer School 2008!

2008-08-01T15:43:00.000-07:00

Well, I have just had the most amazing week! It was soooooooooooo goood!
Its actually quite sad that tomorrow we won't be all together, warming up and dancing together. As a group, all of us just got on SO well. Just being together with people who are passionate about the same thing, all being together in fellowship and dancing together - it was just SUCH a nice experience and loved it LOADS.
Springs Dance Company are an awesome company and are an inspiration to me. I have done the summer school three times now, and to be honest this has been the best one yet!
God is just full of GOODNESS!
The theme of the week was Fruits of the Spirit - which was quite funny because that is a theme that has been popping up a lot! So it really was the focus of what we did all week. The prayer times were just lovely and ah it was just immense. I think it really came at the right time.
Before I went to the summer school I was in a bit of an interesting place. I was just not content with life and struggling a little at home. With changes and stuff that were happening - and like...this week just came at the right time and gave me the opportunity to go away from home and do something different. Kind of leave stuff behind.
So yea...and definitely this week has had an impact on me and the others who were there, I shall miss them all!!!! I may just even get up in church on Sunday and do some improv. Before this week, I wouldnt have considered it, but now I feel I want to. So we shall see.
Also this week wouldnt have happened without Sarah and her lovely family! They put me up for the week and have been really good to me.

It has just been the most wonderful week and I have enjoyed every minute of it - yes, even the aches and pains! Thats why tomorrow Im going to do a streetdance and breakdance class! hahaha!!!

And to close, a verse which is one of my favourite verses and that fitted in well with what we were looking at this week:
The Lord will guide you continually, giving you water when you are dry and restoring your strength. You will be like awell-watered garden, like an ever-flowing spring.
Isaiah 58v11

Beautiful Weekend

2008-06-30T05:29:00.000-07:00

So I went to visit Lizzie for the weekend and I have to say I had a super time!
It was great to see friends, spend time having fun, laughing and it was just lovely to be with them again.
I got to Lizzies on Saturday, where we had lunch and talked about her wedding which is soooooo exciting! Just over a year until she ties the knot.
We then went Kayaking with Charl which was amazing! I was a little apprehensive before hand...seeing as it was an inflatible, and also, I can't swim lol. But once I was in and we were off I loved it! However we were both agreed that if we wanted to go Kayaking again, it would have to be with someone experienced....you just have seen how it went it was just Lizzie and I using the oars lol - it was a sight to be seen. So it was great to have Charl with us!!!!! hehe

Lauren came over and it was nice to catch up with her and see what she's been up to.

And on Saturday evening Lizzie, Lorrie and I had pizza and watched Calendar girls - which I thought was a really great film! Lorri and I had a lovely chat and at last I came to understand what thanksgiving is, haha and why they celebrate it over in America - I soooo have to go and experience Thankgiving sometime!

Sunday was a fab day aswell. Lizzie and I went to visit two churches in the area which was cool, and inbetween time we had a beautiful Roast dinner with Cilla and Lauren. Annabannanna also popped over for a bit, and it was just nice to sit, chat and also reflect a little on what God was doing with our lives, the good parts and the things that we had questions about or was struggling with. It was good to air what we were feeling.

So there we go, a fantastic weekend, and the weather has been so good throughout!

=D

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows

2008-06-07T12:46:00.001-07:00

I've finished it!
It was a fantastic read especially as I really didnt know what was going to happen - I don't really know how I got away with that for like a whole year!

Anyway, I really enjoyed the last book - and I didn't really expect some of the stuff that happened, which I think has been a constant thing throughout the HP books.

The Deathly Hallows has definitely been my favourite out of the seven.

I'd like to go into a little more detail about the things I really enjoyed most - but I know my friend who reads my blog has yet to read it! Im not sure whether she knows what happens, and therefore I shall keep these thoughts to myself and in my journal.

What I did like seeing was a verse of the Bible cropping up in the book. I know that it was written on a tombstone so it would be something that you would find on there, but I really do like this verse:
For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.

I definitely recommend the book to you!

Reading

2008-06-04T09:07:00.000-07:00

I have a new enthusiasm for reading!

First and foremost for the Word.
3 Sunday's ago, there was a move of the Spirit in our church in the evening service. Keith asked if he could pray for me, and asked me what I wanted prayer for. I didnt expect him to ask, so I hadn't really thought about it. So I just said that I wanted to get to know God more.

From the following Monday I really wanted to read Exodus...and now, two weeks on - Ive read Exodus, and Leviticus lol! And it has just been really interesting!

I think without realising it, my prayer had been answered. Through what I have read I feel I have got to know God a bit more and learnt things that I didnt know!

I really like the verse in the NT where it talks about Jesus being the visible image of the invisible God.Although Jesus points to God and who God is, I think from reading the books in the old testament I am learning more about God and who He is and His character.
It has given me a new interest in finding out more about my faith and has caused me to question things - which I think has been really healthy - rather than accept tings at face-value.

I am also beginning a new book.........Harry Potter! - the last one. Haha yes, I know, I still haven't read it! I began to last year but didnt manage to get into it, so here it goes again - 2nd attempt! hehe..and guess what - I still don't know what happens! I don't know how I managed to keep it that way. hehe!

So here's to reading!

2008-05-24T07:57:00.000-07:00

Fear can hold you prisoner

Hope can set you free

Shawshank Redemption

*****Class film.

Watched it for the first time last night, and it was such a powerful film. It really moved me and I just loved it. When Andy isnt in that cell anymore, but during the time he has been there he has had this continual hope that one day he will be free. And that day comes! Even though he has to endure a lot of pain, suffering and sorrow, he doesnt give up on hope, but he really has this HOPE, a hope to live and to live life!

I didnt even notice the words that were written on the front cover of the DVD until my mum pointed them out to me, "fear can hold you prisoner, hope can set you free." It is sooooo great to see those words on written there, because it is true. Fear can hold you prisoner, it can hold you captive, BUT there is a real hope. This DVD doesnt illustrate a false hope - one that can just be created in films, like a fantasy, but actually there is a REAL hope that we can ALL have, and that is in Jesus Christ. And with this hope - there really does come freedom. Freedom is something that has definitely been on my mind recently.

A really good film, and a great watch! I definitely recommend it.

Your Love Is Better Than Life

2008-05-19T09:33:00.000-07:00

dunno nothing that I haven't been taught,
I dunno why I was born into the family I’ve got,
I dunno if I ever had an original thought,maybe not, maybe so, maybe later, I dunno
I dunno how I can end a prayer, then turn on a friend,
I dunno what I was thinking when I just pressed send,
I dunno why I still criticize the things I dunnoI dunno, I dunno, I dunno, but this one thing I know

YOUR LOVE IS BETTER THAN LIFE
Without your love, I’m just a broken machine
YOUR LOVE IS BETTER THAN LIFE
Without your love, it’s all a mindless routine
YOUR LOVE IS BETTER THAN LIFE
Without your love, I’m in another free fall
YOUR LOVE IS BETTER THAN LIFE
Without your love, I’ve got nothing at all

I dunno what goes down the moment we die
Do we get halos & harps? Do we sleep? Do we fly? I dunno
how, when and why this world will finally end,
Speculation’s gonna grow, who knows best, I dunno
I dunno if I should push ahead or stop and grieve,
I lie awake and wonder how to make a city believe,
I dunno when it’s a ministry and when it’s a show
maybe neither, maybe both, I dunno, but this one thing I know

YOUR LOVE IS BETTER THAN LIFE
Without your love, I’m just a broken machine
YOUR LOVE IS BETTER THAN LIFE
Without your touch I’m not a full human being
YOUR LOVE IS BETTER THAN LIFE
If I should ever leave, where would I go?
YOUR LOVE IS BETTER THAN LIFE
I look to you ‘cause you’re the lover of my soul

HERE’S TO THE LOVER OF MY SOUL
HERE’S TO THE LOVER OF MY SOUL

I dunno when to walk away or stand and fight
just when I’ve got it wrong, I’m sure I heard you right
and when my arguments are watertight you expose every hole with a flash and a flood and I know
I hear you call in the eye of the storm and I know you’ve had my back since the day I was born still stoking my heart
still stirring my head
you’re my pillar of fire
you’re the wine, you’re the bread, and

YOUR LOVE IS BETTER THAN LIFE
Without your love, I’m just a broken machine
YOUR LOVE IS BETTER THAN LIFE
Without your love, it’s all a mindless routine
YOUR LOVE IS BETTER THAN LIFE
Without your love, I’m in another free fall
YOUR LOVE IS BETTER THAN LIFE
Without your love, I’ve got nothing at all

YOUR LOVE IS BETTER THAN LIFE
I dunno nothing that I haven't been taught, I dunno why I was born into the family I’ve got,
YOUR LOVE IS BETTER THAN LIFE
I dunno if I ever had an original thought, maybe not, maybe so, maybe soon, maybe later, I dunno
YOUR LOVE IS BETTER THAN LIFE
I dunno when I’ve got it right or wrong, I dunno how I can wrap it in a four minute song, but I know
YOUR LOVE IS BETTER THAN LIFEMy grip is better when I’m not hanging on, your love is making us strong (all along)Your love is better than life

Freshness

2008-05-03T04:08:00.000-07:00

I am sooooo glad to be here, and so glad I decided to come.
To visit and spend time with friends and meet new people.
I had such a beautiful walk this morning. 7.30am left the house and took advantage of the beautiful sunshine outside....it was such a gorgeous morning, and although Anna said I could stay in and sleep...with a day like today, I just couldn't!
I explored new areas of the town, and it was great. Also, whilst having a thinking and praying time this morning I thought of how I would love to live here in the future. I don't want to go back to where I used to be, nor be where home is now...rather I feel this is the place I would rather be....it is such a lovely place.

These last couple of days have been awesome. I have had some great conversations, and it has been so nice for my friends to put me up for a couple of nights....I very much appreciate it.

It was great to see my lecturers perform on Friday and go for a meal with Ray and Laura beforehand.
It has been really interesting looking at what I want to do for my dissertation...not sure exactly what I want to look at, but I have enjoyed looking into it!
Spending time with Ray...it was so nice to see her again after all this time, chat, catch up and eat pizza!

I have realised recently I have come to adore animals, esp cats, dogs and now rats! lolol!
Spent my last evening with Anna, met her housemates who are really lovely..and Molly and Pippa who are her beautiful rats....they are soooo cute! hehe

And today is my last day here....I dont want to leave!!! However I will have the memories of my time here and it has been such a refreshing experience =)
I really am looking forward to moving back!

*exciting!*

Nothing is impossible for God

2008-05-01T02:14:00.000-07:00

I came to this conclusion on Sunday.
Please visit this site http://www.cuckfieldgallery.com/default.asp

In short this is his story:
Attended a meeting with Ian MacCormack - Jellyfish guy. If you dont know his story visit: http://aglimpseofeternity.org/
Ian singled him out and new his name...David. David had never met this guy before!
David, went out in the Spirit and felt his hands, lower arms were on fire.
David asked God what He wanted him to do. He said...I want you to become a painter.
David had never painted in his life before, had no interest in it or anything, and even thought that this was silly idea! But God is persuasive!
The evidence from that 40 minutes that David was out in the spirit, is what you see when you click on the link above - The Cuckfield Gallery. The God given talent of an artist!
Enjoy!

Update on my move!

2008-05-01T01:56:00.000-07:00

Well.... I have been here for about a month now, and it hasnt been too bad so far. At the moment I have been settling into the area, getting to know people and getting involved with some things at church. It is wierd living out in the sticks although there is something refreshing about living out in the country.

The only thing that I do find wierd is the effort in which it takes to get things. I mean, where I used to live, everything was on tap. Buses til past midnight every 20 minutes or so throughout the day, access to supermarkets down the road, and a range of shopping with really easy access as well. Also a short walk to the train station.

Here - its a bit of a different story. Buses every hour til about 7 of an evening, but expensive too. Therefore I am coming to the conclusion that to live in somewhere like this, you need to have a car! I don't at the moment therefore I do depend on my parents to get to places.
However although it is really different living here, it is nice, the cleaner air, the green fields, and the little lambs ive seen which live nearby - they are sooooo cute!
Once I get my new camera - I will endeavor to go out and take lots of pictures! I need to add to my flickr!

So it has been an interesting month....looking for work, although that has been a bit of a mountain to me for various reasons...
I am currently at uni for a nice couple of days break and actually loving it! I really do miss uni and will be glad to go back in the Autumn. But while I am here - Im going to get on with research for my dissertation! Got to think about what I want to look at!

So yes, this is an update from me, with what has happened since moving.

Highlights:
Meeting new and lovely people at church.
Going out with three girls Nou, Gemma and Sonja which was fun.
Little lambs!
Taking Jack for a walk - lovely dog!
Going out with mum, diane and liz - they are sooooo funny!
Meeting up with Leila - it is so nice to have someone who has moved as well and doesnt live too far away!
YFriday....may be coming down *exciting!*
The sunshine when its out - because it makes the area soooo beautiful!

Things to pray for:
What to do with my time (job, money, dissertation research)
Friends - I miss them from home and uni! To make new ones here
Living in a new place which is different to what I am used to
The mountains to be moved

Last Night

2008-04-04T14:09:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow I move. No longer will I be a resident here! It was my last day of placement today, which was cool, only had my usual half day. Just tied ends up and got all the stuff sorted ready for my reports! Finished packing as soon as I got home and obviously played with Charlie - I shall miss him!!!!!

So moving on - it has been a good seven months. Its been challenging, but it has been nice to work in the environment that I have been, and meet some brilliant people! Was treated to a night of Kareoke last night. It wasnt like pub kareoke infront of like millions of strangers, but was where you and friends can get a private room where you can sing your heart out! Although I wasn't sure about doing it, it was actually soooooo much fun! I recommend it to everyone!!!
And on top of that they gave me a shopping voucher which was ace, really lovely!

On the whole I have enjoyed the experience of my placement and learnt a lot, but I am also ready to move on and do something different!

So next time I shall be writing my blog, I shall be in my new home!

Until then!

Summer!

2008-03-31T15:25:00.001-07:00

I don't know what summer will bring this year!
But there are a few things that could potentially happen....and as they unfold I will update this blog...!

In the meantime - I am praying...
I know that whatever I do God wil be with me, and can work through me in what I choose to do.
Its just a question of, are these particular things that I would like to do, the right things to do now...is it the right time to ir not?

If you'd like to beam up a prayer or two just for a little bit of Guidance then that would be most appreciated!

Ah only like 4 days left in counting!.....

Not Long Left Now

2008-03-26T09:22:00.000-07:00

Just over a week to go....and thats it!

So, having spent, what, 21 years of life in the place I call home, it will no longer be called home!
Although I do tend to think these days..."where is home?"
Next week "home" shall be in a new place. It will be my base. When Im not uni, it shall be where I return to - hmmmm!

I really don't know what summer will bring either, as yet I havent made any plans (though I hope there will be lots of SUNSHINE!!)

I feel a bit strange now, probably will do more when I have actually moved...BUT on the other hand - there is an excitement about moving to a totally new area, away from everything that is usual, from everything that I know, and there are explorations to be made, and new challenges ahead.

What will it bring - I really don't know!

XLP

2008-03-19T14:25:00.000-07:00

I just want to take time to talk about an awesome organisation called XLP.
XLP aims to serve urban communities by supporting young people in ethical, spiritual and relational areas so they can make wise lifestyle choices and be encouraged. XLP is a faith-based charity and whilst having a Christian ethos it is inclusive of all people and embraces diversity.
http://www.xlp.org.uk/

I have known about XLP for a long time now - started to go to their sunday youth meetings when I was about 13, but not until now did it click just how much they are doing, how much of an impact they are having and just how God is using them! Its exciting to hear of what they are getting up to these days!

I went to an evening celebration last Sunday that XLP held and my eyes were opened! You know when God just touches you on issues...thats what happened. I am sooo glad that I went. I think God began to break my heart on some of the things that are happening in our world, in our cities.

I start to wonder....how can I help/get involved?

I have heard of some of the stories of how people's lives have been transformed and I think - how cool it would be to bring some HOPE, the hope of Jesus, into the lives of those that are broken and help to release them from some of the crap that life can bring. I wonder....how can I get involved. Could I do it? I look at the stuff that the guys do at XLP and I think...could I do something like that?
Prayer time I think!

Oh and by the way...if you havent seen the film Freedom Writers you HAVE to see it - honestly it is SUCH a good film.

And to end this blog with, Patrick mentioned something at the meeting which I really thought was good:
When you gain understanding, you gain perspective.
It's so true.

Right..Im now going to findmyself a copy of Conspiracy of the Insignificant and read it!

What is happening here?

2008-03-15T16:09:00.000-07:00

Well, I am typing after a loooong but great day.

It was the day of my project. The day that from November last year had been my main focus with being on placement - and its now all over! All that preparation that went into the 9 hour day is done, and I am pleased. It went really well and it was a really interesting day. Although there were a few blips, i think overall everyone enjoyed it and also found it very useful, beneficial and value for money!. I think the highlights for me was greeting everyone as they came in, listening to the Chat Show - especially Donald , he is really cool! I also liked getting to know the Steering Committee better and hanging out with them which was lots of fun, and also chatting to a few people and just seeing what they thought of the day. Feedback is so important!

So all in all the day was successful.

Just three weeks left of placement and then I'm done for another year. 3 years down and 1 more to go and how much fun will that be.

All this talk about careers made me think a little about what I want to do, and I am still none-the-wiser.

It will all become clear one day I guess.

Jesus You Put Music In My Soul

2008-03-09T14:50:00.000-07:00

I love music!

"It's all about the music!"

Sunday was a bright day yesterday

2008-02-25T14:11:00.000-08:00

Sunday was a great day and it was meant to be!

Decided to go to church, and funnily enough the same sunday as John decided to go as well so that was cool. Met three lovely ladies that he lives with.
Invited over for lunch with them it was so nice to be invited for lunch and chat, and get to know them! Always good with pizza around as well!

Also Sunday was a bright day because we have a house!!!!! Yay. Went to look at 2 and the first one was it, I just felt it, and funnily enough the second house that we went to see, one of the rooms had been sold already - so there we go, not a tough decision to make really. And its nice because it feels like a house, not a student house.
I am so glad to not have to worry about that - all sorted!

Singleness is a Gift

2008-02-10T15:00:00.000-08:00

So today a few of us ladies from the church who are in the season of singleness got together today and I have to say it was such a lovely time and I learnt such a lot!

I think for me the reason why I wanted to attend this get together in the first place, was because this woman of God in my church was hosting it and she was going to tell us about her singleness experience and what it has been like for her. I really was so interested to find out because I often wondered why this very lovely lady had no husband, boyfriend etc!
So she just explained a bit about her background and her experience and it was just so refreshing to hear about other ladies - single ladies and see how God has just been using this season of their life.
We all actually got to share about where we were at now and how we found being single and this was just an eye opener into some of the situations they were facing and seeing the similarities of situations as well.
It was a very encouraging time, 1 because we were very honest and open with each other and this was a group of 11 of us who arnt really a friendship group so-to-speak and I think that just really showed just how comfortable we were with just sharing what we have been through and what we were feeling. I also found it encouraging to hear that most of us were at a position where we were quite alright about being single.
So I really just found it such a great opportunity to share, to learn, to encourage, to pray for each other, and also get to know each other more.
The afternoon was also accompanied by cake! Very important!

So, being single, we are not alone, it is a season we go through, and one to be enjoyed. Not a block, or a barrier, or something to get us down, but a time of freedom and opportunity to connect with God through our singleness as well as to connect with others.

At this time I am content with being single. I am also looking forward to the road ahead, and to really grow with God - I am expecting big things this year! Also it is great to know that our God has only the BEST interests for us. They are not second best, but THE best - because he loves us!

As Valentines day comes - it is a time where we can feel a bit down and a bit like - blah its this time again. But I actually really want to look at it differently and not feel so blah about it.
To enjoy being single and look to God to fill my life first and foremost rather than to look to a man to do so. To strive to put God at the centre and focus my attentions on Him.

It really was a great afternoon and really got me thinking about this issue again which was good.

I want to tell the world: I'm having a hair cut!!!!! haha

2008-01-26T06:42:00.000-08:00

I'm having a hair cut!

Quite excited about that. Hopefully if I stick with the idea I have - its a bit of a re-style!!
All thanks to the lovely Ali and Simon who said I should have it done - and......they are going to pay for it - in aid of my bday =D
So yea.... I just hope what I'm thinking will suit me! I mean, if I dont get it done...I'll always be wondering..........
and also I know that it will grow back! So its not really a problem. I'm also going to dye it back dark again- I figure it suited me more and it is looking a bit faded now.

So there we go - a blog on hair!

Travelling To The Caribbean!

2008-01-22T14:30:00.000-08:00

I wish!

Ok so, the caribbean has kept cropping up recently. Don't know whether its anything significant...or a sign!!! lol
It is probably nothing - but I think a blog is a good way to document things especially things that could well be cropping up for a reason.

So maybe I'll be off to the caribbean sooon!! haha! Jamaica to be precise. The underground station keeps telling me!

So....I shall inform the blog if this does indeed happen.

On another note - I have 5 months to spare...like when I finish placement. I was talking to Helen a colleague of mine and she mentioned that I go travel! It is something that I have been thinking about recently. I so want to travel the world, I mean....there is so much out there - and here I am in the place where I have literally spent the whole of my 20 years here on earth. (21 soon! thought I would drop that one in there! =D ) So...I need to see whats goin on out there!
So if there are indeed any suggestions on places that I should travel to feel free to mention them!

Also if anyone has any money - it would be gratefully received! hahaha! *jokes*

New Year, New Look, New Hope

2008-01-11T07:28:00.000-08:00

Well - as its the New year I thought I would go for a new layout - and I have to say, I quite like the new look blog! Fits in well with the Title!

So the start to a new year - and it has been good so far! I have made no resolutions - which I think is a good thing. If I did, I think there would be a higher chance of me breaking them.
The only thing that I do want to do - is to go deeper with God. Last year I did...and therefore this year I want that to continue!

So its goodbye to 2007 and hello 2008!
It is a time for new beginnings - althought when I was thinking about it on new years eve - I was just like....to be honest its just another day. Without the "years" and the "months" it is a day just like no other. We go to sleep we wake up and its a new day...
But yes - we do have such a thing as "years". And therefore on January 1st we do say goodbye to a past year. It may have been a great year, in which case we hope that the coming year will be great too. However it may not have been that good a year - in which case we hope that this coming year will be better.

All in all - whatever kind of year we have just had....(this has just come to mind) we all probably live in hope. And that just brings me onto Hope 08...haha what a "coincidence". I have to say I don't know much about what Hope 08, but it is happening this year! I think I will need to go away and have a research. I love how things just pop up in your mind!

But it is true - we all are in a place of hope. Hope for tomorrow. That this year will be a good one.
Hmmmmm! I dont exactly know where this blog is going - but I love the fact that I am writing this, and as I do - I am thinking of the things to write that I didnt intend to write. I didnt aim to talk about Hope - but there it is - maybe its just my thought pattern, or maybe just maybe its God whispering something to me...hmmmm! I wonder!

And therefore with all this talk of hope - I will end with the fact that Foy Vance's album is entitled Hope! Just thought I would throw that one in there!

So - be hopeful!!
"You are my refuge and my shield; your word is my source of hope." Psalm 119: 114
- amen!

Hosanna

2008-01-05T09:32:00.000-08:00

Heal my heart and make it clean
Open up my eyes to the things unseen
Show me how to love like you have loved me
Break my heart for breaks yours
Everything I am for your kingdom's cause
As I walk from earth into eternity

Hosanna - Hillsong United

Becca's Back In Town!

2007-12-29T15:48:00.000-08:00

Christmas - the season that we all build up to and then just like that its over again!

But as Sarah reminded me in her preach a couple of weeks ago in church - we are in the season of Advent!!! We are awaiting the second coming! We celebrate that Jesus was born! We await Easter - when we will look to His death and resurrection! And in the mean time - our lives are building up to that day when Jesus will come again! So we are...in advent - we are waiting for Him to come again!

Christmas is an interesting time for me. I think except for when I was younger - Christmas has always been a strange time of year. I was actually reflecting on it whilst with the family - just ...I dont know know really but something always seems to crop up - or I just seem to, well think deeply about things when it is the Christmas season.

Im now back at the house of 22. On the train home I was thinking how this year will pan out - I dont know! What I do know is that I have 13 and half weeks left on placement which inside im so looking forward to being over - but I cant hep but think, that really I should be embracing the whole experience rather than wishing it to be over. I just guess that at the end of the day - is what I am doing on placement really what I want to go into. This new year - haha Im going to try and make a resolution. Not about giving up chocolate, going on a diet, or whatever the "usual" things are... but I am trying to give work my all, and my best - and to try and remember that utimately all work is for the Lord. I think I shall write that out and stick it on my computer - a daily reminder to me. I mean...ok so I may not be embracing the whole work thing - but I am there for another 13 and half weeks - I might as well try and make the most of it....
Oh Lord - please help me! lol

So getting back to Christmas - it was great to have 2 christmases!!! Weird to spend it with my family in a different place - but it was nice to see ma and pa again and watch lots of tv!
Doctor Who was among the best of the tv! I mean David Tennant on Christmas day - can't really ask for more to be honest! lol!!!
Actuallly I think the highlight of my Christmas with the family was actually going to church Christmas morning and getting to know the new church family that I am now apart of - even though it is only very slightly. They are a really lovely bunch of people! And it is good to be getting to know them!
So looking back on the time that we shared - it was a good one.
And now I look forward to the New Year - and what it brings....especially what happens after my weeks on placement are over.

What will I be doing?!
Working
Travelling (please be the latter!!!!) lol
Where will I be?

Holidays Are Coming!

2007-12-20T13:52:00.000-08:00

So.....Ive broken up from work for the Christmas holiday! woop! **so excited**
And what did I do on my last day - lol lick lots of envelopes...nice!

It has been a fun old week!
Seeing The Golden Compass with friends - it was really good - and although they did miss the end out - i await the next movie for it to continue! Anyway how can one not like the film with a certain mr Daniel Craig in it! So I really need to read the rest of the series of the books!!

Seeing Hairspray on Tuesday - man it was soooooooooooo awesome! I LOVED it! It is a-ma-zing!!!!!!!!! I would so want to be on that stage ...and Seaweed - was pretty fine! hehehe It was really nice to go out with all the guys from work and have some fun! =D

Seeing Laura at St Pancras Station - it is like...my favourite station! "Meet Me At St Pancras!" Oh someone please do - it is an amazing place. I just love it!

Visiting Nanny which was lovely and she cooked a really nice dinner for me!

And so now...here comes Christmas! Really looking forward to it. Christmas comes early to the Bennett household! Tomorrow we have a party!!! Its going to be really fun. And then on Saturday we (the sister and I) travel to visit the parents for Christmas.

So that is my Christmas!

I wish EVERYONE a very Merry Christmas!!!!
Smile

=D

Becca

The Golden Compass

2007-12-17T14:51:00.000-08:00

Ok, so - as a stand alone film - I enjoyed it! Was a good film!!!

But....in comparison to the book - wha???????
Why make a movie about a book and then - wel just forget to put the end in!

lol
So I was disappointed with the movie - and I am soooo reading the book again!

Oh and p.s. - bring on Christmas - I am sooooo excited! =D

Open Sky

2007-11-27T13:15:00.000-08:00

...And like the hope
That's come my way
And turns me round
To face the sky
The rhythm of this world
This gift of life
The essence that can never die

"Open Sky" Iona
Such a beautiful song, and beautiful lyrics.
Made me smile =)

Love Life

2007-11-26T14:13:00.000-08:00

Soooo....
Right at this moment in time - I LOVE life!
I really do.
You know when you just feel happy, have that smile on your face and just really - despite everything that could make you feel unhappy - you just feel the opposite. Well that is how I feel today!!!

So that is just what I wanted to share.

Be blessed =)!

Relationships

2007-11-14T14:03:00.000-08:00

So, a while back - in one of my previous blogs that I had (which now has cease to exist) I talked about "When's It My Turn?"
I kept seeing people falling in love, so many couples together - so many friends had, what I didnt have.
And so I went on a bit of a moan, you know how it goes...I really wanted someone in my life, someone to care for, to love and to be with.
Well I can tell you that, that, has since turned around!
I really don't want anybody! well not right now...and I don't plan to in the near future...
lol
Its funny how you can feel one thing - and then through certain experiences, and also words of wisdom - it can actually make you think again.

I have come to realise that God is most important, and until my relationship with Him is all cool, and also when i'm actually ready for a relationship, then I'm not looking for one, and I don't need one. Not until the right time. All in God's timing.
Back when I wrote that post, I was feeling quite down about it all - and since then I have, but recently I just, I dont think I really do.
I don't think personally I could cope with one at the moment! lol. I also just - if I am to be in a relationship in some point in my life - I just want it to be the way in which God intended it to be...just right =)

I went through a patch of liking someone, and I thought - oooh maybe this could be something - but like, you're like God - is this meant to be?!?! You're searching, really searching - and...some things that happen, make you think - man he could be the one! But...actually, you learn that maybe he wasnt...and he isnt, and thats cool. But throughout that time, I did not stop asking God for guidance. I would say to God, look I know I like this guy...but Lord - totally and honestly, even though it may be hard to come to terms with - if he isnt the right one then please let me know! Because firstly I so didnt want to go into a relationship that wasnt good for me, that wasnt right and also I just didnt want to go for the guy who in actual fact was "another womans guy!" (a good friend told me this a long time ago and has always been a reminder to me...)
So, yea I just kept asking and seeking God on it, even though at some points I found it hard to say - "Lord...your will, not mine "- I came to realise that I had to do this. God has my best interests right in the centre of His heart, and He has the best plans.

Its not been easy - but the more I have given it to God, I know that this has been fruitful and has helped lots and still is helping lots.

So right now - im so not interested in guys...yeesh - why was I in the first place?! haha!
Jokes!
Nah i'm just not ready..and until I'm ready - i just want to wait, and carry on my life, living and growing with Jesus as a single! Until I am ready to share it!

So there we go - that is what is on my heart at the moment. It hopefully made sense...oh havent I been saying that all my life! lol I may add, take away, change thinking over the course of the week,month,years...we shall see where life goes!

Blessings!

Purpose

2007-11-10T05:06:00.000-08:00

Lord....what is my purpose in life????

Blogging, Blog, Blogger!

2007-11-09T07:47:00.001-08:00

So ive added some photos to my blog! It kind of gives you an essence of me...but in pictures! I can never seem to write in an "about me" section, so I thought the best way would be to add some photos! Spice the blog up a bit!
Yes... I know...I did mention I may cut the blog - but I also may not...I am quite undecided about it.

Because, ok, I dont really like blogs - as some people will know. But at various points during the course of my life (lol) I have started them, stopped them, carried them on, set new ones up....so actually - when I say I don't like blogs - i think the term to use, would actually be "I dont know if I like blogs!" at sometimes I like them...you can really have a good old vent on them..let it all out, or let passers by know what your doing, let friends know what is happening in life.
But there are also reasons why I dont like them!
So....will the blog continue? I will leave it up to ....me! It is, funnily enough, my blog! I mean, maybe the question I should ask myself is... why do I blog?! lol

At least now, if I do write in it, it looks pretty with all the piccys! hehe Tho I have to say I would love to make it look more professional. I wish I new more about websites and designing and then I could actually design a well good blog!

Anyways...so........Im not going to set what i'll write about, what it is for, if I'll write in it every day, or maybe once a month...maybe even just once a year!

We shall see!

Now, that really is enough talk about blogs...

What is on the brain at the moment?

2007-11-08T14:22:00.000-08:00

2 people - take their lives. One on the underground, one jumping off a bridge infront of a train...this i think just gets to me most...it really does. The tears well up in my eyes - how much hurt can one go through?
Who were they? What were they like? What made them decide that life wasnt worth living anymore...was it their choice to make?
Why...?

On another note - how do I deal with something that Im finding hard to deal with. I mean what have I got to do?

Work. It feels like a job. I want it to not feel like a job! I want to enjoy it - but at the moment...I dont think I really do. Being worried about all that I have to do. It is scary stuff (ok it is for me!) This week ive been feeling icky every morning - and that is defo a sign that im worried...I so want to be free from that.

What do I want to do with my life? ...Becca should you not be asking what God wants you to do with your life?

We all have a choice to make.

I really don't like blogs - and I am thinking of cutting it...its funny - because ive never been able to keep a blog going.

Christmas is coming! I am defo looking forward to that! - I thought I would end the blog on a positive and hopeful note!

Back from the chase!

2007-11-05T12:44:00.000-08:00

Hey there folks - I am back!
I had a lovely time with the parents! The countryside is beautiful and the sunsets were gorgeous. I really did have a lovely time.
It was great to get used to the new area and meet all the friends that mum and dad have been making. The church is really nice and there are some great people there - very friendly and welcoming...and really were looking forward to meeting us (me and my sis)
So what did we do over the couple of days that we were there?
Visited a farm - they had a lovely sheepdog called Jess, and we saw some piglets and lambs! So cute!!!
Went to a jewellry party and had krispy kreme dougnuts - you so can't go wrong with that combination!
Watched Matthew Pinsents family tree programme thing, it was amazing!!! I so want to see where my family come from! Even if its not as exciting as being related to King Edward 1st! It was such an interesting programme.
Went for a nice ride round in the car - got to the beach and had a nice walk along the seafront.
Had my picture taken with a tank lol
Shopping! Bought some boots! They are cute!
And chilling, watching the box in between! lol

So overall it was a lovely time. It was quite strange to go out of an evening and having to take your torch! It really was pitch black - because obviously where thet live they have very few lamp-posts - strange!! hehe

It's nice to be back though!

Away to the Chase!

2007-10-31T01:56:00.000-07:00

Im going to visit my parents!
I cannot wait!
Spend some time getting to know the new area, and seeing my mummy and daddy which will be great! They really are getting on so well down there, which is awesome.
Im especially looking forward to the train journey - but hey I like trains...what can I say?
Also some new places to photograph - which i'm looking forward to . See what I can come up with

When you see someones life...and can just totally relate to it.

2007-10-20T06:35:00.000-07:00

You know when you just see something happening in someones life - and just totally know exactly what they are talking about...well that happened for me today!

You just - you see it and think....that was me. That really was me. Its great how in the world- you can relate to others...and in being able to do so - be able to help in some way.
To be able to talk
To listen to one another
To pray
And to ultimately know - that you are not going it alone - and actually others hae been there.

I just wanted to share that - because ...you know what. I have come to realsise that some of the biggest issues in my life - that I have always found ever so difficult to share.....once shared - oh my life the person who is on the receiving end just totally know what your going through.!

I mean its just so fabulous that God just places these most wonderful people in our lives...and to come when you are at a time of what seems to be a weakness. The time of weakness - becomes a STRENGTH!!!!!
It is so true!

To yes - we do not go it alone. Others have been there before us. And what a release it is when we share what at the time seems so difficult.

Zero Degrees

2007-10-19T07:28:00.000-07:00

So last night I saw the best dance performance I have seen since September this year. I know thats not a long time, but I have seen a lot in that time!!!!
I was previously talking about how from all the dance works I had been to see, nothing had grabbed me.
Well last night was the night!

Collaboration by:
Akram Khan
Sidi Larbi Cherkaoui
Nitin Sawhney
Antony Gormley

It was such a brilliant piece and definitley my kind of dance!
Cherkaoui was awesome - like...there isnt a way his body can't move! He was fascinating to watch - and well Kahn he's just an awesome dancer to watch as well - gives everything so much power!
And I stayed awake for the whole piece - that also tells you something! hehe

So yes. Zero Degrees was ace. A great piece with lots happening in it. Some great choreography and the music was great - I am a fan of Nitin Sawhney!
I would definitely be up for seeing that piece again...and if anyone gets the chance to - go!!!

Meeting with the pastors

2007-10-17T13:22:00.000-07:00

So...after work yesterday - I went to good old G-Town and met up with my pastors from my church! They invited a few of us over for dinner - which was really nice! Some actual quality time spent with the leaders of my home church. Eternity I do feel is home for me - at this moment in time any way, even though, sadly, i'm not able to go as frequently as I'd like to.
But yes - when I was told that Mark and Deb would love to have my company - I couldn't say no.
So had a nice little journey over there - and met 2 new people which was cool.
It was just nice to see them again -see whats going on in their lives and see how church is going. See whats happening. And just - for church...to make sense!
I really love listening to Mark - he is a very cool person, and when he was talking about church and what was going on - it just made sense to me...just what they were trying to do and where they felt God taking them. Reaching the world in which we live in!
It is nice when the pastors get to know you!
I do pray that God will continue to lead them the way He wants.

On another note - I do miss G-Town. It is always nice to go back!

Dance Works

2007-10-12T14:54:00.000-07:00

Does it work for me?!

So...Ive been to see quite a few performances recently.
CandoCo
Russell Maliphant and Isaac Juliens
Birmingham Royal Ballet
Robery Hylton's Swan Breaks
From watching these pieces...and a fair few throughout my dance history lol, little grabs me. For some unknown reason - it takes a lot to please me, to grab me and to make me go WOW.
I do love dancing, but I have come to notice that it does take a lot for me to like something.

But why? I do ask myself this question - because I want to know...what is it that makes me like a dance..what gives me the excitement, passion and love for a dance work? What is it that gives it the wow factor for me?

Out of the last 4 pieces I have seen - none of them in particular have ...had a massive impact on me (maybe thats what im waiting for...something with impact) I think the thing I have liked the most out of the 4 pieces - were Isaac Juliens video sets - the images that were shown - were AWESOME (hmm it must be the photographer in me I suppose lol)
But that has been the best part out of all of the dances. Now this could just have been that I have just gone to see 4 pieces which happen to be - well...not my cup of tea.

However it isnt just with these 4 pieces. All throughout the time I have gone to watch performances of dance works...a lot haven't worked for me for some reason.

Coming back to the impact thing - maybe it has something to do with that. Thinking about it - generally - things in life...also seem to have to have a big impact on me to - well...I suppose feel something. I think I am a feely type of person - if that makes sense.... I'm not sure why...but I just have to feel something about it maybe?

There have been dance works that I have thoroughly enjoyed (and I suppose I shall admit that normally it does have something to do with the accompaniment that is used which will sway me either way.) Now maybe in the eyes of a dance critic - that really shouldnt influence the sway lol. But the fact is - that it does.

I dance and have danced because of music. I LOVE music - like... it is probably one of my favourite things and passions in my life. So therefore - it makes sense for music to play an important role in the dance for me. Though you then come to the point where I ask myself (its literally popped into my head just now), is it because of the love of dance? or the love of music? ooooh that is a question!

So this has been a lovely ramble about music and dance - two of the things that are very much in my life and it will be exciting to see how God uses these from this day forward, and what other passions come my way. Im still going to continue with going to see many performances...and maybe there will be just one that will blow me away...

Ok so...

2007-10-12T14:28:00.000-07:00

Ive been at work now for 5 weeks!
And yes it has been getting better...the weeks are going so much quicker!
I am learning lots about work, the world in which i live - which at the moment seems to be a dancey one lol, and learning about myself. Stuff that I dont like about myself and feel I want to change, finding out what I'm good at, bad at, when I work best and when I dont, and when Im just plain scared!
On looking back - the first couple of weeks have been a hectic time..although more recently its actually been ok. The first week - I didnt like work at all and was looking for ANY reason to get out of it - though i never found a reason becuase I always went in - despite the dread. lol
I guess it was a lot to do with the "being thrown in the deep end" kind of thing that made me feel so icky about going to work every morning.
With no administrator any more, it was really me who had to take on the reigns.
However though at times I have hated it, and been in tears (yes ..even in front of my work colleages...:S - though I see this as a good thing) I do feel that it has been the best way for me to learn - to be just thrown into it and have to deal with it - to have to swim.
There are still things that i dont really like doing - one of them being the phones. I would be much happier if I knew EVERYTHING to do with the company - but as I don't it just makes it that bit harder. If i knew everything I would be fine on the phone...I have grown in confidence - that is for sure.
So all in all - Im not having the same dread for going into work. And I am enjoying aspects of it - dare I say it!
And I think that the company like having me as a placement student - well at least ...I hope they do.

So a little summary of how work has been thus far and just looking back on how it has progressed.
I hope it will continue to help me grow as a person - and just shape my character even more - for better, because I do feel that I want to grow and also just to become a better person in Jesus.
I wonder how much of my life is reflecting Jesus?!

Meeting Melodie

2007-10-09T14:56:00.000-07:00

So...I managed to the next train to my home!
The little jogs from one tube to another helped adn definitely were worth it for this train jouney home.
I decided to walk down the carriage - and then as you do - u decide where you are going to sit.
I sat down - and was just about to get my mp3 out and start listening. If I had have done - maybe the conversation would not have arised...since I would have been engrossed in my music.
Then the lady seated opposite me asked me what the letters USCU meant which were printed on my hoodie. I told her that it was my uni's Christian Union. Then..she asks me what I study - i told her I study dance - oh and what do you know - so does she! And she asked me if I knew of Springs - which I was like - yes! And she is also a Christian!

The lovely thing about the journey was that for once - I wasn't just sitting - travelling, in silence as many others do on my way home, but carried out a conversation which was just fascinating!... about where she was studying/teaching. She happened to be part of this awesome company - which I actually saw earlier this year...so I had seen her dance!

We talked dance, what we were up to at the moment, God bringing us together, and we ended up exchanging numbers and email addresses. For the short 20 minute conversation - we found out a lot about each other...and it was great to talk about dance!!

I love "random meetings!" and this certainly was!
I am so glad that she just started to talk to me and that it started from there.
You never know who you might meet in this life. Who you might come across - and you do find...very often in fact - that it is a very small world we live in!

So I thank God very much for this brief encounter!

World of Mine

2007-10-07T13:49:00.000-07:00

Everybody wants to know exactly how it feels
To be in this place - well I dont know
I've been wondering myself
Everytime I go

I wanna tell you 'bout everything I've seen
I wanna tell you 'bout every place Ive been
I haven't even known what it means to
Walk in these shoes of mine

Standing on the corner watching as the world goes by
Sometimes I connect and sometimes I reflect and cry
I see myself in a wounded heart
All by myself in a crowded bar
To find a flicker in this fallen dark world of mine

For a moment you seem like strangers
Exchange a few words
And suddenly you share the same heartbeat
They look deep into your eyes, they ask
Does God hear me anymore
Why have I been denied

You wanna tell me 'bout every broken dream
You wanna tell me bout all the pain you've seen
You say
You havent even known what it means to walk
In these shoes of mine - but im trying.

Standing on the corner watching as the world goes by
Sometimes I connect and sometimes I reflect and cry
To see myself in a wounded heart
And be of help if I can do my part
To be a flicker in this fallen dark world of mine

by Phil Keaggy

A song which - ive literally played over and over again for the past couple of days - I just love it for some reason. So I thought I would have a space to put up the lyrics and see if I can just mull them over and get a grasp of what they mean.

Foy Vance

2007-10-02T15:28:00.000-07:00

So a great friend of mine introduced me to the man that is Foy about a month or so ago...and well - he was right about one thing. You can't not go to a Foy Vance gig. To not go would be very terrible indeed. And yes - he would be right!

It was awesome. I really was looking forward to the gig and just experiencing Foys music live. I love the few songs that I have heard so far - and i LOVE live music! So it was a very good chance to see Foy.
It was an intimate gig which I really loved.
In the Slaughtered Lamb - which i think is quite a good name for a pub, we went downstairs, and luckily were one of the very first people to enter - meaning we (my sister and I) managed to get seats - of which, there were not many!

So... a place for Foy to perform, a few sofas, chairs, a bar and standing area - and that was about it.
And it was great - Foy is such a talented artist and the songs just really capture you, make you smile and just at that moment I did feel like i just loved life - yes, songs can have that impact on you!
Met 2 guys from Newcastle in NI which was cool. Started the conversation with - so...how do you know about Foy Vance then? (in a great Northern Irish accent! hehe I should have had a practice with mine...but I didnt ...lol)
How did I come to know about Foy - a good friend of mine Phil - from NI introduced me to his music and thats how! So yes. Turned out that both the guys were at Queens Uni - although they were on placement for the year in London. So that was cool!

The songs that Foy did - were great. He is a great guy and very funny too!
And it was nice to have a good sing song at the end.
I Still Havnet Found What Im Looking For - which...is very true...
Followed by the great song that is "I wanna be like you" from the Jungle Book.
It was quite surreal infact - because during the song - Foy's normal singing voice - turned to that of impersonating the actual guy that sung the song. I dont know who it was, but oh my....it was like hearing the voice, the actual voice - but seeing Foy. That was quite surreal but very very cool!

So that was my experience of the Vance that is Foy! Great stuff. Really enjoyed it.
And readers....if there is one thing you must do - it is to go and see Foy - you will really enjoy it!!!!

Afternoon Papers

2007-09-27T13:53:00.000-07:00

I dont often read papers. I dont buy them - so I dont read them. And well...i have to be honest - im quite ignorant about what is going on in the world...which I think - isnt so good. I think its important to know what is happening, what is going on in the world in which we live, so we know whats happening as well as being in touch with the world God created...and what we need to be praying for...

To be honest though...although the morning/evening papers which i now frequently read on the way home from work - mostly because theyre free and handed out at various places on my journey that you have to kind of get one - though I only get Lite...because its the only one that prints with ink that doesnt come off on your hands! I hate that! So I only read Lite haha...anyways...deviating a bit.
So yes where was I? yes ...to be honest - reading the papers just makes me remember why I dont watch the news much etc - because its always so depressing! So much rubbish is going on in this world - i dont know how much one can take. Every day on the news - something about Madeline....wars, killings, and Britney .....and so much more. Its rare to have good news!

I just ...i do think it is important to know whats going on - but at the same time it just fills me with just...a real sense of sadness... and i do ask myself - do I really want to know whats going on in the world. Just thinking about it though...God does. He wants to know whats happening. He does know whats happening and He wants to so much be in people's lives and healing this world of pain and sorrow and everything else that is going on.
I guess its just knowing how to read / watch/ listen to news - and not get bogged down by it all...

I really dont like papers....but in some way - some of the articles i have been reading - have just i suppose helped me to realise a bit about what is on my heart. Teaching me - what God feels about these things and just opens my eyes to what concerns I have in particular about the world, because I feel that we do - individually - have things on our heart, something that stirs us - moves us, makes us want to act, do something, pray.

So one newspaper story I did read which had this effect on me was one about a girl who is thought to have committed suicide - on a rail track - leaving her mum and dad behind....only a week later- the mother was found dead in the same place...also thought to have commited suicide, because of the loss of her daughter. That just - it pained me so much. How much pain and suffering can one go through - ...man, that just really - it made me think.. it made me feel - i dont even know. i mean...how much sorrow was the girl feeling...to then end her life....how much was the mother going through...? and now - the father - who once had 2 people in his life - who are now gone. ...
Why do these things happen....? Meep

Another blog of just stuff that im thinking about recently....

Travel!

2007-09-24T12:25:00.000-07:00

I want to travel.
I really do - to anywhere and everywhere - that would be awesome!
If it were possible, I would go to all the places in the world. Literally!!!
It would just be great to just visit the world - to explore places Ive never seen, and to go to those places where so often you see them on tv...but to actually experience travelling there would just be so awesome.
It has been on my heart really I think - to journey to places, and to meet a variety of people, to experience different cultures. That would be really cool.
Quite jealous actually of a friend of mine. She's off here there and everywhere - literally!
Maybe one day!
Another thing which really is on my heart - a passion of mine is music. I love music so much - it just fills my soul and touches me. And when at the africa charity event on Sunday - one of the guys introducing the next item mentioned that one of the things that unites us as people all over the world is music - i was like - wooo!!
It spoke to me.
I dont think God gives us passions about things and intends for us not to use them.
I love music, and I love to sing. I love to dance and I really would like to travel around the world, see whats out there and whats happening. Oh and I also love photography hehe!!!
Id love to be in a band. I was watching the New Seekers last night - it was really kind of well, country - but i honestly loved it. Good old heart lifting songs. Made me smile!
So yea I thought I would just write a blog about what I love. What makes me tick - hehe! Because at the moment - being on placement now - it is making me think ...would I want to do this as a job. What do I want to do with my life? or rather....what does God want to do with my life - the latter I think being a better question.
Time will tell =)

Ohhh and guess what ... Dora just so happened to play King Without a Crown by Matisyahu, tune!!!

Thinking...

2007-09-22T06:47:00.000-07:00

this was on my 365 blog - but I thought I would move it to here!

Recently discovering that ..what goes around comes around. and ..also - things that were...arn't anymore. Can't keep living in the past ...things change and move on. I think ive expressed these comments in previous posts - that...or i just keep thinking them! Its just to remind me that things do change - whether we want them to or not - and we cant get stuck in that moment. It was good while it lasted. Smile - because it did happen! But now that its changed - dont mope...dont be dis-heartened..dont be sad...dont regret and dont be disappointed!
Be happy - because the God ...the God of all creation - has it under control! And He knows best =)
Let it be.

First Post!

2007-09-21T14:41:00.000-07:00

So - what is happening here then???

Stuff will follow!

I thought Id start a new blog - because....in my 365 one im kind of - well....going off in tangents - from writing a "true" 365 blog lol - though Im not sure if there is a "true" 365 blog! It has. From where it first started and now where it is ..i want it to get back to being something more simple...and quick to read - giving the essence of my day and what I have God to thank for, for each day. The good points about each day.
I just read a blog randomly by someone who actually for me really pin-pointed what a 365 bog should be and what it was meant to be in the first place! So it shall commence...from this day forth, to be what it was intented to be!

So I now have created a new blog. I dont know how much I shall write on here... but I figured that in 365 I was writing more about some of the things I was feeling...so maybe this blog will be a reflection of that. I dont really know ... hehe - just thoughts as and when they come...
So here it goes! We shall see where this takes us!
So keep checking here - now and again and see What Is Happening Here!

So to start the ball rolling....
I read a good blog today about endurance which I thought was very good.
With work - its been tough and it has come to the point where sometimes Ive really felt i wanted to quit. On wednesday morning I wanted to - but then that changed and at the moment I feel as though I do want to carry on. Things happen for a reason...and at the moment Im here ...in this world of work, experiencing this for some greater purpose - a bigger and better plan for my life, which God has for me. Its easy for me to say this now...beacause I feel fine about work. However if I was at last Tuesday morning again - I dont know how easy I would find it to write this. To keep on going and running the race.
However - I do carry on. Despite the stuff that has gone on...the tough times...im still at work! I have to try and hold onto the fact that Jesus will bring me through it.
"...and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us." Hebrews 12v1 (b)

I am...out of my comfort zone...and doing that - isnt the nicest of places to be..but I guess that through those times...we can grow more in our character...and I did say that through my placement - I wanted to grow. ha! So maybe I asked for it! lol
I just want to take time...to say that with regards to this - this tough time...God really has placed some great people in my life to help encourage me... some non-christian,some christian..some at work and some not at work. I am so blessed to have such a great lot of friends who will listen and encourage me.
Encouragement is SUCH an important thing especially when things get tough.
So yea - thankyou guys!!!!!